make enough jerky....

while at forepaugh  russ and i were sent to the neighbors to rep for the company.  this neighbor was a nice guy whose elderly mother was still runnin the ranch. we were gonna work a pasture that had some of the nastiest mesquite thickets and cholla flats i ever saw.  the cattle there had gotten away for years and were almost as bad as true wild cattle.
      before we started out that mornin the elderly mom with 2 canes to walk with had her truck parked along the road to the corrals with a folding table set up with cinnamon rolls, breakfast burritos and a big thermos of hot coffee.  after that we just wanted a nap!! but we soon found out that we would burn every calorie we took in plus a few more.  russ and i ended up in the middle of the biggest thicket where all the cattle hid out.  we hollered, cried, begged and pleaded and thought we had those cattle on the move in the right direction. as we neared the end of the thicket the cattle turned back and came over us like a frieght train.  75 cattle, long horned and sharp in a mesquite thicket and just 2 men to hold them. our horses were done in, we were done in. as we broke out of the thicket there right in front of us sat the ranch owner rachet jawing with some dude from town!! the owner came over and asked if we saw any cows!!! russ went into a slobberin fit and told roy that we had a pile of them but couldnt drive them over the top of two piles of horse crap in the road. roy didnt  understand what we were talking about.  he simply said we could go backand rope what we needed!! russ looked over his shoulder and stated our horses were done in and kept riding toward the trailers. roy and his buddy folled a quarter mile back. when we reached the trailers mom was there with her table and sandwiches with coffee.  we pulled the saddles off our hot give out horses and trooped over to the table. with a sandwich and coffee russ and i plopped down next to the truck.
   roy arrived with the town dog in tow tied their horses up and bull rushed the table. they didnt even uncinch those poor old horses. mom asked roy how many cattle we got. he answered the cattle were so bad that russ and i would have to rope and drag them one by one to the trailers!!! russ looked at me with fire in his eye and mumbled like hell!!
   mom , leaning on her two canes shook her head, no just shoot the s. o. b. s and we will make enough jerky to strech from here to pheonix!!!