the view

 it seems that as I get older it becomes harder to sleep past 2 a.m.   this morning my eyes flew open and that mass of muscle between my ears went into high gear.  finally when it became evident I wasn't going to sleep again I got up, built a pot of coffee and sat at the kitchen table with a steaming cup.  why I don't know but my mind drifted back to many things over the past 50 years or so.  it seems that when ever things got to stressful, to binding, to tight I always ended up some where, where I could sit and view the world for a while in peace. this always seemed to make things a little clearer, a little easier to deal with.  if I had to make a particulary hard decision to make, or a tough circumstance to deal with I could always find a answer there.  ive wrote about this one particular place in the past, but it stands out in my mind as my favorite. I would saddle a horse on a cold windy morning, tighten my wild rag around my neck , button up my carhardt and ride to that rocky little hill. then on a well worn trail climb to a spot I found years before. it was a crack in the top of that hill. settled into a seat I could look south into mexico or east and watch the ole sun creep over the mountain. the wind would be howling but it seemed to not be able to reach me in my little spot. my horses mane and tail might be whipping in the breeze but the rock wall would keep it from me.  it was quiet there, just the wind and my view of the world around me. while there all my problems would become clear and a avenue would open to solve each one.  as the sun would climb the heavens solutions would present themselves  to each and every problem. everything would become clear in my mind as the sun shined on me, and the wind  would blow away the troubles.  I don't know if everyone has that kind of place, either mentally or physicly. but that works for me. I could be close to the supreme being when I needed to be. I could watch a troop of javalina or deer feeding below me not knowing I was spying on their early morning grazing. after a while that ole rock I was sitting on would start to bite into my fanny. I liked it because the pain told me I was alive, breathing  and limber enough to enjoy the day. the suns warmth on my face always would bring a smile no matter how cold it was. believe me, no one enjoyed life anymore right then.  that spot is now on some one elses ranch. the gate is locked, and trespassing sighns are up. I haven't been there in years but just the tought and memory of it brings a bit of serenity early in the morning with that cup of steaming coffee in front of me.